How I feel sometimes about the stakes

“When I pull the switch, they’ll all die!” The villain laughed, as she was supposed to do right then. The superhero waited for her to finish. “You can’t stop me now!”

“I don’t believe you,” the superhero replied. “I don’t think you’ll really do it.”

The villain paused. “What? Of course I’ll do it. Why would I have spent so much time setting up such an elaborate contraption if I wasn’t going to use it?”

The superhero shrugged. “Plea for attention?”

“Don’t be a fool! I’ll kill them all!”

“If you were going to kill people, you would’ve found an easier way to do it,” the superhero pointed out.

“S-simple or complicated doesn’t matter! Either way I have hostages!”

“For what? You haven’t made any demands. What’s the point? Unless killing was the point, in which case there were easier ways to go about it. Ways that you could’ve gotten away with for longer before having me after you.”

The villain stuck her lower lip out. “You’re wrecking the dramatic tension, you know.”

“Hey, you started it by pretending that you were going to kill people. If you stuck with stealing shit that wasn’t yours, I’d still be after you, because that’s annoying and no one else has caught up with you.”

The villain groaned. “Well now I don’t feel like pulling the switch at all. You’ve sucked all the fun out of it. Even if I kill them it’ll be pointless.”

“How about you run for it? I’ll give you a ten second head start.”

And just like that, the police watched absolutely nothing happen that day.


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